Stephen King Loves My Book?
The delusions, determination and dung heaps of self-publishing scams.
Matthew Galgani
In the mood for a good laugh, but one with a sinister twist? Try this.
Say you’re going to self-publish a novel, join a few Facebook writers groups and book clubs, then just sit back and the jokes will magically start flooding your feeds.
Yes, I’m speaking from experience.
As soon as I joined a few such groups and announced my upcoming self-published novel, Doubting Nikki — A Tale of Faith and Delusion, the hucksters, spammers and fraudsters emerged from the floorboards of humanity like cockroaches.
My favorites are the ones that tell me how impressed and intrigued they are with my novel. Not only has it not been published yet, but I get unsolicited, “personal” emails from the likes of Stephen King, Pat Conroy and other mega-bestselling authors.
I mean, wow, the Stephen King knows and loves my work — even though I haven’t published anything yet?!
While such spam is comically absurd, so-called “book clubs” put a slightly more sophisticated but equally sinister spin on self-publishing scams.
The book club version also tries to reel in their prey with praise — whether the book has actually been published or not. Then, they offer to showcase the author’s work to their “audience of avid readers” — in exchange for a not-so-nominal fee.
The “Hi, I’m Stephen King” pitches are about as plausible as all those Nigerian scams promising to wire you millions in exchange for innocently helping out a down-on-his-luck, currently illiquid but fabulously wealthy stranger.
Then there's the book club scams. These can fool authors because there are legitimate book clubs that serve a legitimate purpose.
But just like Jacu bird coffee beans sourced from avian poop, you have to stay determined and sort through a smelly heap of dung before you find them.
Related:
Bonus clip from Lisa Simpson: “Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?”
Certainly, That's Delusional